I found myself in the pepto bismol pink house again. My progress was evident as I stood in a fully furnished parlor enjoying tea with my closest friends. Yet, the question remained why the hell didn’t I choose a color other than pink for the damn parlor.
Graffiti stills tags the thoroughly depressed walls, waiting to be painted over, but pleading to be anything other than pink.
Pink is so pleasant, sweet and innocent. Why am I having such issues with this color? My girlfriends are sitting around the parlor in a circle prattling on about different matters, sorta. One is discussing her upcoming wedding, others their relationships. A long sigh escapes me and I wonder how we got here. Sure, we are in our mid twenties and maybe this is the normal time to settle down, but these goddamned pink walls. Why for the love of everything holy is there so much pink? At least the house is coming along. I half listen to my friends, contemplating being partially jealous, while simultaneously scolding myself for thinking to allow something so trivial, like a relationship to distract me from the project and real issues at hand.
The banisters once a proud oak, would be lovely designed the exact same, yet out of mahogany with a gloss overlay. I smile in the direction of my friends, but the house has much to be done. Three rooms down, how many to go? Why isn’t the baby room bothering me? It’s still empty. Childless. Less than one day. Yet for once, I am happy.
Startled awake I realize that something is not right. That house contains extreme levels of malice, why was I content even for a moment? How could the pinkness distract me that much? The house does not mean well. It means to harm, but it just needs love. I may as well have just woken up from realizing my baby is dead, I am so distressed about the contentment I felt in the house.
I look over and you are sleeping there, unaware. Maybe it is your fault that I felt content in that house. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it. I want to pretend you don’t exist. The house, what is it? I barely understand. I thought I knew, but I can’t remember.
